When I was 14 I wanted to be a prostitute! Yep you read that correctly! I was always a romantic daydreamer from a very young age and my obsession with my 'happily ever after' started with Disney. Damn you Disney! I always wanted to be whisked away to marry prince charming and live in a big castle with beautiful dresses and tiaras.
At 14 I was obsessed with Pretty Woman (great film btw in case you younger lot haven't seen it) and I wanted that! The notion of sex never crossed my mind, I just wanted to be swept off my feet and to find my happily ever after in the arms of a man who gave me the world. Wow how my thoughts on such things have changed, but that's a story for another time.
When I say the notion of sex never crossed my mind, I mean that sex was the last thing I was thinking about (the thought of it grossed me out) probably should have been the first thing to spring to mind when you say 'prostitute' but hey. I used to watch Jerry Springer and other such shows and there was always stories of teenage runaways who had got themselves into prostitution etc... and well honestly it seemed exciting to me. Run away from home, be a rebel, live my life as an adult not have to answer to anyone. At 14 years old I didn't understand the dark world that lay beneath the exciting grown up one. Thankfully, I never had the balls to run off and do it!
At 17 (still very naive and pretty sheltered from the world) I wanted to be an escort, because then I wouldn't have to have sex with people (and you'll learn in time I'm ridiculously prudish so would have failed at the whole prostitute thing anyway), I would just attend glamorous dinners, parties and events as someones date and I'd get paid for it! This suited me much better.
When I eventually learned the ways of the world and how stupid the things I wished for were, I was glad I decided to stay at home and live a normal teenage life but my romantic side still got the better of me and I moved in with 'the love of my life' and married him and shortly after divorced him. This was the hugest mistake ever but again....that's another story for another time.
My reasons for wanting to run away were not due to my family or my home life. Growing up wasn't easy, I lived on a council estate and sometimes times were hard but I had a wonderful family who loved, supported and cared for me and provided me with a warm, comfortable home.
My reason pure and simple, was excitement.
As a teenage you have to deal with social pressures, peer pressure, a wealth of emotions triggered by raging hormones and you are trying to establish who you are and how you fit in this world.
Deep down I honestly believe THAT is the reason behind these young girls leaving their families and their 'boring' lives behind to join the ranks of ISIS and other such organisations. These girls are normal teenagers who have probably been swept away by a rock star notion of fighters in Syria and I think it's unfair to say that they have been radicalised (because we don't know that for sure) or that they are terrorists. Yes ok they shouldn't have taken that step further and actually gone but it is a romanticised fantasy that all young teenage girls experience. I don't care if they were A-grade top of the class students, by my experience, if anything, that means they're lacking in common sense - my theory (though I'm yet to prove it scientifically) the more intelligent you are, say academically, the less common sense you have.
This aside they all seem to come from relatively good yet in a way sheltered families. I also think it's wrong to blame the families for not doing/saying/keeping a closer eye on their children. I mean seriously ask yourself, how many times as a teenager did you sneak out, go somewhere when you said you were going somewhere else, lie, drink, steal (I'm talking chocolate not jewels). How many times did you think to yourself 'if my parents find out, I'm dead' and yet people say that, because these girls have taken that step further it must be the parents fault for not keeping a closer eye.
These days it must be harder than ever for parents, what with the technology that's available to their children like smartphones, emails, social networks etc... and kids generally being smarter with the use of this technology. I mean damn, my 2 year old can work my smartphone, she knows exactly how to unlock it and find Dora the Explorer on netflix.
I really feel for these girls as I don't think they realised what they were walking into and my heart sincerely goes out to their families who must be broken with fear, despair and worry. I'm glad I never had the balls to go through with any of my wacky fantasies and that's exactly what they were...A teenage girls fantasy! But for those who do go ahead and take that extra step, I really hope that one way or another it works out for you. I hope that you find happiness and peace and most importantly I hope you are safe and well.
To all the teenage girls (and boys, let's not forget this is not a gender specific problem) with exciting, fantastical dreams...I know how desperate you are to be a grown up, I know how much you want to find your place in this world and establish yourself but you really do have the rest of your lives to find out who you are and where you're meant to be. Enjoy the time you have now with your family, friends and loved ones or you may spend your life looking back with regret stuck in a place you don't want to be. Trust me I've been there (for the record no I did not become a prostitute/escort) and it is so hard to break free of the regret that you feel for all that you gave up.
To the 3 young ladies who today, we found out, have now crossed into Syria and in fact to ALL the young ones who have left their lives in search of something better.... my thoughts are with you and your families. I truly hope you are safe, happy and well, and I hope you do not grow to regret your decision. If you are not happy, always remember you have a home to return to and that your families love you. I'm sure all they want is your safe return.
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